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Jun. 10th, 2018 10:38 pmwatched, not one, but TWO long ass movies today wow
one was just now that my dad and i streamed on his fancy tv called the net that i knew nothing about but said we should watch it just bc i saw sandra bullock in the thumbnail and i have like an admiration crush on her lmao. topical technology skepticism plus corny colorful late nineties graphics did not disappoint
we also went and saw hereditary in theatres earlier today. i did notice how long it was taking like twice during the movie but i didn't consider it a complaint like the rest of my family. it was like two hours of characters nervously looking around tho lmao.
my actual complaint is p edgy tho but frankly i can't enjoy movies w ~ooo spooky occult~ twists bc, being steeped neck deep in this shit i can't ever 100% separate myself from the "er that's not quite how that works" thoughts i have throughout. i was invested in the story! it was an entertaining time and i'd recommend it. and i was even on the edge of my seat wondering what would happen the whole time.
both movies did make me think of something today that i guess is the real reason i'm writing. which is that honestly people are what's scary. it freaks me out that anybody could be lying to you and manipulating you at any time and when you crave love - not even in a dramatic broken woe is me i'm so desperate kind of way but just a normal ass average human kind of way - you can find it very easy to believe people at face value and not catch on until it is too late.
i think i am still struggling w the pain of being lied to and manipulated in not insignificant ways in the past. and bc i'm still as honest as ever - maybe even more so every day - it's scary. i try so hard to be as honest as i can every day as a person who hates confrontation! and i want to give people the benefit of the doubt i really do. but even then it takes me forever to trust people or even feel reasonably comfortable around them and i can't stop thinking about how i chose to be forgiving and patient even when i got signs to geg myself out and now i'm scared i can't trust own self to listen to my intuition when it speaks against my sad need for affection (coupled w my uncanny ability to draw to me fucked up people lmfao).
i should probs do some work on this for myself ho hum
one was just now that my dad and i streamed on his fancy tv called the net that i knew nothing about but said we should watch it just bc i saw sandra bullock in the thumbnail and i have like an admiration crush on her lmao. topical technology skepticism plus corny colorful late nineties graphics did not disappoint
we also went and saw hereditary in theatres earlier today. i did notice how long it was taking like twice during the movie but i didn't consider it a complaint like the rest of my family. it was like two hours of characters nervously looking around tho lmao.
my actual complaint is p edgy tho but frankly i can't enjoy movies w ~ooo spooky occult~ twists bc, being steeped neck deep in this shit i can't ever 100% separate myself from the "er that's not quite how that works" thoughts i have throughout. i was invested in the story! it was an entertaining time and i'd recommend it. and i was even on the edge of my seat wondering what would happen the whole time.
both movies did make me think of something today that i guess is the real reason i'm writing. which is that honestly people are what's scary. it freaks me out that anybody could be lying to you and manipulating you at any time and when you crave love - not even in a dramatic broken woe is me i'm so desperate kind of way but just a normal ass average human kind of way - you can find it very easy to believe people at face value and not catch on until it is too late.
i think i am still struggling w the pain of being lied to and manipulated in not insignificant ways in the past. and bc i'm still as honest as ever - maybe even more so every day - it's scary. i try so hard to be as honest as i can every day as a person who hates confrontation! and i want to give people the benefit of the doubt i really do. but even then it takes me forever to trust people or even feel reasonably comfortable around them and i can't stop thinking about how i chose to be forgiving and patient even when i got signs to geg myself out and now i'm scared i can't trust own self to listen to my intuition when it speaks against my sad need for affection (coupled w my uncanny ability to draw to me fucked up people lmfao).
i should probs do some work on this for myself ho hum
