i like just the way you are

i feel good being able to say i don't lie. for some reason it's important enough to me that i can't get myself out of uncomfortable unsolicited flirtations bc of it and i can do anything on stage besides improv that the audience is in on.

but sometimes a lack of honesty lies simply in people's assumptions! and i am a very hyper aware introvert who can very often tell when people are assuming certain things based off of half the story i told them. and i never lied with my language. but i can tell i am starting to allow myself to worry about lying through omission even tho i don't deserve the intimate details of my life story to literally anybody! ever!

so am i really all about not wanting to tell anything but the whole truth and nothing but the truth all the goddamn time? no. i think what i really am craving all the time is just feeling like i can be honest. like it is safe and cool to do so. and i guess i haven't found it yet, and so after years of life crossing my fingers for such a thing to happen, the shifty eyed optimistic anticipation has turned into anxious fist clenching. at least just a little bit.

UGH do i have to start writing corny poetry again?