(no subject)
May. 18th, 2018 12:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
venusundae i feel like this is getting worse. maybe it isn't, maybe it just hasn't gotten better yet but it scares me so much that i'm inclined to say it's getting worse.
i keep thinking about the past in ways i haven't in ages. i have old tired self destructive thoughts that remind me of the times before i attempted suicide and that's not anywhere i wanna be at all. i don't accept this for myself.
i wanna write about it but i don't quite know how yet. but i also think it won't all make sense until it's over so i need to be writing about it anyway so the details are here for the reflection in the future.
i do know at least that i want to make this a happy story.
i keep thinking about the past in ways i haven't in ages. i have old tired self destructive thoughts that remind me of the times before i attempted suicide and that's not anywhere i wanna be at all. i don't accept this for myself.
i wanna write about it but i don't quite know how yet. but i also think it won't all make sense until it's over so i need to be writing about it anyway so the details are here for the reflection in the future.
i do know at least that i want to make this a happy story.
