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Apr. 22nd, 2018 07:04 amthere is this feeling that i'm always looking for in life. i imagine everyone has their own. based on what i see when i look around i don't think we're all after the same feeling, i think we each have our own.
it's not a feeling like an emotion, but like an atmosphere. a formula of many parts within one moment that create an ambiance that resonates at the exact frequency that our bodies or minds or souls were born to vibrate at.
and i think maybe it's what i search for when i get lost for hours online shopping for trinkets i'm going to fill my ideal home with someday or get lost in fantasies of half-grandeur adventures i could create if i chose to take every correct step to get to the starting line first. and in those cases really i just have some subconscious limitations that i need to tackle before i can rly truly make those things a reality. that perfect home amidst my perfect life. which as we know wouldn't be exactly anyone's perfect but mine.
but i can find that feeling right here where i already am at anyway. it's the kitty waking you up to feed him at 6:45 am, with the window open and a sweater on and walking out into the driveway and just breathing in the morning of a brand new day. it's talk talk of lionheart. it's getting multiple flowers from smiling and giggling kids in animal pajamas that were arguing just a half hour before. it is making impulsive soshi walls and then revisiting them in a few years to update just bc that's how important your love still is. its' scrolling through ebooks at 1am that say everything you already knew was true and it's so exciting you don't want to leave even as your eyes droop closed and your hand flops to rest.
and someday it could absolutely be a fridge always stocked with binggrae flavored milks that my brother can come over and have any time, or holding hands w a sweet person on a night train under a clear starry sky, or having sundaes in the desert. but right now i am grateful that i have even found what it is i am looking for every day.
it's not a feeling like an emotion, but like an atmosphere. a formula of many parts within one moment that create an ambiance that resonates at the exact frequency that our bodies or minds or souls were born to vibrate at.
and i think maybe it's what i search for when i get lost for hours online shopping for trinkets i'm going to fill my ideal home with someday or get lost in fantasies of half-grandeur adventures i could create if i chose to take every correct step to get to the starting line first. and in those cases really i just have some subconscious limitations that i need to tackle before i can rly truly make those things a reality. that perfect home amidst my perfect life. which as we know wouldn't be exactly anyone's perfect but mine.
but i can find that feeling right here where i already am at anyway. it's the kitty waking you up to feed him at 6:45 am, with the window open and a sweater on and walking out into the driveway and just breathing in the morning of a brand new day. it's talk talk of lionheart. it's getting multiple flowers from smiling and giggling kids in animal pajamas that were arguing just a half hour before. it is making impulsive soshi walls and then revisiting them in a few years to update just bc that's how important your love still is. its' scrolling through ebooks at 1am that say everything you already knew was true and it's so exciting you don't want to leave even as your eyes droop closed and your hand flops to rest.
and someday it could absolutely be a fridge always stocked with binggrae flavored milks that my brother can come over and have any time, or holding hands w a sweet person on a night train under a clear starry sky, or having sundaes in the desert. but right now i am grateful that i have even found what it is i am looking for every day.
