i like just the way you are

Can profound realizations really be found in such formless, swirling clouds? I think so. Where I used to think that I needed something heavy, something real to hold in my hand, to feel weight me down and prove itself to me by marks in my hand from gripping it so tight... I now see that I was thinking too small and narrow.
Once I wanted to find a definition for who I am and what I felt. One for every differing emotion and memory, that could be sorted and organized in a tidy way. For this thing that I am feeling now, I would want to find a rock, no bigger than my palm. And I can see it now, its a deep magenta color - perhaps a bit gaudy if colored anywhere but upon raw earth - with gold specks peppered all within it. And if I held it tight enough it would leave little pink indents in my hand from its bumpy surface. It had to be something real, something solid. Something I could throw.
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