death take me
Mar. 29th, 2016 06:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
venusundaei'm a huge fucking idiot, first and foremost. and probably a masochist who definitely lacks self preservation and then also an addict! so that's a fucking combo right there.
you're only supposed to take 1-2 of these energy tabs a day right. so i took three. all at once. bc again. huge fucking idiot.
i've been up for days, and i've reached crashing multiple times. i just. keep taking more tabs to pep myself up again and prolong the inevitable crash that i am actively touching and then recoiling from every few hours and it just gets worse the more i take. my solar plexus aches? all my upper muscles ache too. i can't breathe. my chest feels like it's caved in. my head fucking huuurts. i'm so nauseous without even eating and then especially so if i do eat. i'm so uncomfortable and feel like i am dying and all i want to do is sleep it off but i fucking can't. and i just keep taking more.
and my therapist assigned me some like research on caffeine side affects so i know the risks and i know the amounts i can take and i know i know i know everything and i know where i am heading. and it would be so easy to just take all 60-n pills i have left and end my suffering already i'm still just so tired.
also i bought alcohol today. right after getting out of my substance abuse therapy group. bc well. we've been over this.
you're only supposed to take 1-2 of these energy tabs a day right. so i took three. all at once. bc again. huge fucking idiot.
i've been up for days, and i've reached crashing multiple times. i just. keep taking more tabs to pep myself up again and prolong the inevitable crash that i am actively touching and then recoiling from every few hours and it just gets worse the more i take. my solar plexus aches? all my upper muscles ache too. i can't breathe. my chest feels like it's caved in. my head fucking huuurts. i'm so nauseous without even eating and then especially so if i do eat. i'm so uncomfortable and feel like i am dying and all i want to do is sleep it off but i fucking can't. and i just keep taking more.
and my therapist assigned me some like research on caffeine side affects so i know the risks and i know the amounts i can take and i know i know i know everything and i know where i am heading. and it would be so easy to just take all 60-n pills i have left and end my suffering already i'm still just so tired.
also i bought alcohol today. right after getting out of my substance abuse therapy group. bc well. we've been over this.
