![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
is this the full moon in scorpio's fault?
May. 22nd, 2019 04:55 pmlegit feel like i've gone back in time three years lmao.
so i guess the warped reality sensations aren't over yet! i keep thinking about people i haven't talked to in ages. my best friend called me the other day drunk as hell with "the tea". and she told me shit about four different people who neither of us has talked to in years, but it was all shit i knew so it was really weird? i was like "girl pls you cannot be this drunk." she tried to tell me one of our friends is engaged and has a kid i was like i know! i've known since i met him and i'm the one who introduced him to you! she tried to tell me other stuff, all of which was junk that i told her first, months ago.
i don't think she remembers that phone call either which makes it feel even more eerie~~*~*~*~
i went to an event planning meeting the other day using a lil meeting room at starbucks and one of the baristas looked like an ex of mine only like a foot taller. and usually that'd honestly probably have ruined my week, if not given me a panic attack just with all the stupid (really... STUPID) thoughts it brought back up in me (they were... a really bad ex lmao). but this time it didn't. i was just kinda like "ah ah ah, i know why you're here!". (to myself. in my head.)
meaning this is just where i'm at right now i guess! having to watch life happen as tho i haven't spent the last three years changing the vast majority of aspects of my waking life, but with all the knowledge i've gained in that time. it's frustrating. mostly because i've had to admit to myself that i've actually moved on from a lot that i never thought i would, and that i have - in some ways, regrettably - forgiven many people i didn't think i'd ever forgive this fast.
shaking my fist at the healthy mental journeys that inevitably accompany healthy coping skills and life habits. what if i had wanted to hold molten hot grudges forever, huh!?
so i guess the warped reality sensations aren't over yet! i keep thinking about people i haven't talked to in ages. my best friend called me the other day drunk as hell with "the tea". and she told me shit about four different people who neither of us has talked to in years, but it was all shit i knew so it was really weird? i was like "girl pls you cannot be this drunk." she tried to tell me one of our friends is engaged and has a kid i was like i know! i've known since i met him and i'm the one who introduced him to you! she tried to tell me other stuff, all of which was junk that i told her first, months ago.
i don't think she remembers that phone call either which makes it feel even more eerie~~*~*~*~
i went to an event planning meeting the other day using a lil meeting room at starbucks and one of the baristas looked like an ex of mine only like a foot taller. and usually that'd honestly probably have ruined my week, if not given me a panic attack just with all the stupid (really... STUPID) thoughts it brought back up in me (they were... a really bad ex lmao). but this time it didn't. i was just kinda like "ah ah ah, i know why you're here!". (to myself. in my head.)
meaning this is just where i'm at right now i guess! having to watch life happen as tho i haven't spent the last three years changing the vast majority of aspects of my waking life, but with all the knowledge i've gained in that time. it's frustrating. mostly because i've had to admit to myself that i've actually moved on from a lot that i never thought i would, and that i have - in some ways, regrettably - forgiven many people i didn't think i'd ever forgive this fast.
shaking my fist at the healthy mental journeys that inevitably accompany healthy coping skills and life habits. what if i had wanted to hold molten hot grudges forever, huh!?
