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[venusundae]

i used to totally be all about assuming everyone hated me all the time tbh. like idk where exactly it came from but any interaction that wasn't 100% overwhelmingly positive and loving i took to mean i was lacking and not worth the time. i knew it was silly and also kind of self-important but it still happened.

and lately i've kind of fallen back into a stint where i'm having similar thoughts. but what's different this time is that even when i have convinced myself that anybody who i once thought genuinely appreciated me now absolutely loathes me... i don't mind.

i used to get all torn up because my entire self worth revolved around people loving me. but now more than ever i feel like i am myself. like i know who that is and i portray it in everything i do and say and am. so if anybody really did truly and honestly hate me, at least it's based on who i really am rather than any efforts at being the most loveable i could be. so i'm okay w that.